That Mysterious, Chaotic, and Wonderful Eleanor Potter
by The Carnivorous Muffin
Summary: The Weasley twins think about Ellie Potter, pranks, marriage, and being a bit out of their league but loving it anyway. Side fic to Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus.


**Author's Note: To those of you about to enter this fic I offer fair warning that this is a side fic to the heavily AU "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" so some of the characters and situations won't be immediately familiar if you read this. That being said since this is from the point of view of canon characters it's pretty easy to piece together what's going on, so if you want to read it go ahead but if not don't. Yeah.**

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><p>When they were young and Ron even younger than them Fred and George would proclaim to their siblings that they were going to marry Eleanor Lily Potter, the girl who lived, when they grew up.<p>

At the time it had been more of an act to enrage Ron, to get him in that red faced spluttering rage where all he could do was stomp around and look really stupid. Little Gin-Gin was always sure to throw a tantrum as well looking horrified at the thought of Ellie Potter marrying anyone at all let alone her two icky older brothers.

They'd had all the details sketched out, they'd get married in a joke shop where every two seconds the ceremony was interrupted by some whizzing, buzzing, flying thing causing havoc in the audience, they'd spend their honeymoon in muggle London doing whatever muggly awesome things muggles did in their spare time. Every little thing they added just made it ten times worse for their younger siblings until all they had to do was mention the words wedding and Ellie Potter together and both Ginny and Ron would be screaming.

By the time they reached Hogwarts and saw Gin-Gin and Ronniekins a little bit less that got old. They focused more on perfecting their craft by testing it on Slytherins as well as other unfortunate souls and planning their future joke shop just as soon as they got the funding. Ellie Potter just wasn't as funny anymore, not nearly as much as giant spiders, Marcus Flint turning into a singing canary, or any of the other things they could pull out of their metaphorical hats.

That, of course, was before they met her in the flesh.

"Do you remember when we talked about marrying Ellie Potter?" George asked Fred one night in the common room after things had died down, everyone else was asleep somewhere but Fred and George had sacrificed sleep for their art. Laid before them were thousands upon thousands of ideas (well a few pages worth) written out and designed in ink each somewhere on its way to implementation.

Of course, Fred did remember, Fred and George always remembered the same things. That wasn't why George asked though; there was a question within the question, one not directly stated but one that needed addressing.

"I kind of want to do it, too." Fred responded.

This, they both felt, must be what it was like to be in love.

Everything she did was somehow better than what she did before, and she did it with such grace, as if she didn't realize she was doing it at all but was instead some sort of fountain of chaos that just kept giving. Fred and George just left a few laughs or moments of extreme humiliation, Ellie Potter left devastation where people didn't even know what had happened anymore.

Before it had been recruiting her, but by the end of the first week that hadn't seemed to be enough so they decided to add friendship to the list, but after kicking down the door to their Defense class and lecturing about the Albanian vampire revolution it was clear that marriage was the only solution.

They'd never been in love before and they weren't quite sure how seriously they should take it.

"Ron won't be pleased." George stated, "He doesn't even like it when we sit in her glorious presence at the table."

"It'll be good for him." Fred responded with a shrug not mentioning that Ron probably never had a chance to begin with either.

"Who's the real competition then?"

Fred took out a blank piece of parchment, setting aside the plans for later, and began writing down their main list of competitors.

"Well, I think we can all agree that our new Albanian veela friend Lepur Rabbitson is at the tippy top of the list."

"Well, he is a male veela, those don't come along every day you know."

Beneath that George added in identical handwriting Neville Longbottom's name, "Neville Longbottom comes next, he beats us in adorability."

"But we beat him ten times over in charm." Fred finished for him.

"Agreed."

They then stared down at the list, containing thus far only two people, and wondered if there was anyone else even worth adding. The trouble was, they thought, Ellie didn't really seem to notice very many people. Most of the time she seemed dazed, her eyes out of focus and on something far beyond them, and when she did respond or look at you it was in a distracted moment as if you were more of an afterthought than anything else.

There were moments, not often, but moments where they wondered if she went too far even for them. As if she was so far ahead of them, such a master, that it seemed almost wrong as if no one should reach that level of mastery. There were times when her eyes seemed almost too green, but then, these were only a few moments scattered here and there.

For the most part Mrs. Ellie Potter Weasley had a very good ring to it.

"How does one date the girl who lived, Mr. Weasley?"

Some period of courtship was necessary, if only to appease their mother, if they were going to marry Ellie Potter. Of course, it would have to be the most awesome courtship ever, one that would be far more dangerous and exciting than even Charlie raising dragons in Romania, which considering they were talking about dating Ellie Potter was more than doable.

"Well, Mr. Weasley, I would assume by proving to her that we're almost as awesome as she is."

They thought over the events that happened within only the first few weeks of school, they'd tallied it up at some point but they still had the nagging feeling they were missing at least half of it. There'd been that weirdness with the sorting hat, House Default (which had to be a byproduct of her even though no one said it), losing so many points that Slytherin would never again have a chance at winning the house cup, having a Rabbit named rabbit and telling everyone that it would eat Scotland, trying to sell the wand of every first year Slytherin and then some, sneaking in an Albanian veela named Lepur Rabbitson who she claimed was secretly Rabbit the Scotland devouring evil bunny, and so many others.

Point being they had a lot to live up to; luckily they were very good at what they did.

The purpose of the meeting that night was to choose the top ten pranks, the ones they would truly nail in the few weeks to come.

Fred read off the idea first, reading the general summary although the page also contained ideas about possible victims, implementation, and everything else that was absolutely necessary for a prank. "Make everyone in Slytherin vomit spiders."

Picturing it in their heads it was more than hilarious it was ingenious but there were a few problems. George pointed one out, "What about Rabbitson, he seems like a tough nut to crack."

"If we use a potion in the food then Ellie and our veela friend will be unaffected since they eat at our table."

"Yes, but we need to make our unflappable veela friend a little more flappable, if you catch my drift."

They thought about this for a moment, the trouble was, that Lepur Rabbitson really didn't seem affected by anything at all. They couldn't get a real read on him, he was always so blank, not a careful blank either like Snape tried to be but a true blue blank like nothing was really going on back there. Except something was clearly going on back there, because sometimes he wasn't blank, when his mistress of chaos Ellie Potter started walking into another room without him or when someone looked and focused on him there was a flash of something in his eyes. So he wasn't blank, not completely, but that didn't make it easy to get to him.

The vomiting spiders were still a go but Rabbitson needed something special.

"Rainbow afro." They said in unison, and the picture of Rabbitson with an afro in their heads was a rewarding one, and yet even there he was not dismayed in the way that Malfoy would have been or even Percy.

Still, Albanian male veela transfer student with a dark and mysterious background he might be, but Fred and George were magical twins, that was two for the price of one.

It was an economic decision at its finest.

Grinning at each other they felt that said most of it for them.

"To chaos, dear brother." Fred motioned to his brother miming a toast with his hand.

"To chaos." George echoed and though they weren't holding anything they could both hear the clinking when their imaginary wine glasses touched.

The next morning, when everyone at the Slytherin table began spewing spiders onto their breakfast blissfully unaware of the preparation and care taken by Fred and George to perfect the potion and implementation, they turned to stare at Ellie Potter with anticipation.

She glanced behind her at the Slytherin table once the screaming had started up, blinked at it a few times in confusion, then with a shrug turned back to her own breakfast looking as if nothing truly out of the ordinary was happening.

Ron meanwhile, predictably, started becoming visibly nervous at the sight of the spiders and began hastily eating his food waving a swift goodbye before any of the spiders could make their way to Gryffindor.

Fred and George looked at each other, they weren't surprised by her reaction, she was after all a master above even them but even so they had expected something.

Neville Longbottom said as much for them as he glanced at the Slytherins and then to her and then back again, "Uh, Ellie, your house is kind of… vomiting spiders."

She nodded, as if this was just as ordinary as them eating breakfast.

"…Do you know why?" Neville asked when Ellie didn't clarify.

"The universe is falling apart." Ellie responded with a shrug, "It doesn't have to make sense, most of the time it doesn't even really try. If I tried to make sense of half of the things that happen, magic, house points, Slytherin vomiting spiders sporadically, I'd be here all week and I don't really have time for that."

"I… um…I really don't think that's the reason." Neville said, looking furtively over at Fred and George, and it was good to be appreciated even if it was by competition.

She glanced over at the wonderful scene again, taking in the sight of Pansy Parkinson choking on a particularly hairy tarantula, and then looked back visibly unimpressed, "Not my problem."

At that point Fred and George caught sight of the Albanian Rabbitson, blankly making his way over to Ellie Potter, with all the grace and beauty that only a male veela could possibly possess. Glancing at each other they each drew their wands and quickly cast the charm before Ellie could notice watching not without satisfaction as Lepur Rabbitson's white curls poofed into the most multicolored afro they had ever seen.

When he reached the table Ellie looked over at him and her eyebrows raised, she stared at her Slytherin housemate for a moment, before commenting, "Your hair is very brightly colored. I'd say you didn't look good but, well, your face is so symmetrical that it makes even that look good."

Rabbitson made no move to acknowledge his changed hair and after her initial comment Ellie turned back to her food and continued to eat like it was any other day of the week.

It was then that the twins looked over at each other, each seeing the dismay and wavering determination in the other's eye.

"We've been outmatched, George."

"I'll say Fred."

It seemed they had more work cut out for themselves than they had ever realized.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Lily's a little out of Fred and George's league, but at least they kind of realize that. For the 1100th review of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" by Gruffard who asked for a fic from someone else's point of view and since we've got a Neville, a Snape, I felt we needed the Weasley twins in there. Anyway thanks for reading and reviews are awesome.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**


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